A couple of big weekends

Hi guys

so sorry...have been pretty busy back and forth to melbourne with work, so the weekends have been filled with bittersweet things.

Since the angel ball, we have had mother's day weekend...and then we had Eli's 6 month anniversary...i cannot believe it has been that long since we lost him. It still absolutely feels like yesterday.

Constant reminders have been everywhere this month...i went to a training day which focussed on health...a good day, but we visited a training facility that had a mock-up hospital room...hospital beds, drips, bp machines etc etc...i was blindsided...and felt very anxious to get out of there...a few of my fellow collegues picked it up...and a couple of tears popped out of my eyes...but i stayed...its these times when it puts your strength to work. I figure that times will come up where we will be put in these positions, and its small steps forward. I was a little embarrased, but as pete said...just be who you are and what will be will be. I guess we would be doing ourselves a dis-service is we didnt express it...

Mothers day was also bittersweet...we spent the morning walking with the 'mothers day classic' which was held in bairnsdale. Pete and i have been to this event a couple of times in melbourne and were stoked to learn it ran out of bairnsdale, so went along. We met a couple of our mates, belinda and kate, and lisa with twins darcy and amber...it was so very lovely to see them and to spend time together...so thanks to you guys for making the effort (the weather was a bit ordinary)...

Thanks to all of you too who sent messages to let me know you were thinking of me...they mean the world and it just gives me the strength to face those sorts of days...

I have a poem i found which really struck a cord with me. I dont know who the author is...but it was read out at a service we went to in February...an old army friend passed away on the black saturday and her family read this out.

If we could have a lifetime wish
A dream that would come true
We'd pray to god with all our hearts
for yesterday and you
A thousand words cant bring you back
we know because we've tried
and neither will a million tears
we know because we've cried
you left behind our broken hearts
and happy memories too
we never wanted memories though
we only wanted you.

Six long months have passed and at times we feel so sad. We still miss our bubba every single day and our candles burn just as bright as they did on the 16 November 2008.

We love you melon

luv to you all too
the simpsons
xox